During the months pre-wedding I spent some time at Virgin Vie parties. Usually being convinced to part with lots of cash for things I never opened but that smelled nice and looked attractive on the side of the bath. Since then I haven't spent much time thinking about my face and up until this week I had never sat in a busy department store thinking about it.
I must admit I was struggling a little. No time to plan new things meant that I was easily convinced to sit in chair in public and talk about my skin care routine. Of course I have no skin care routine but in the spirit of sheer embarrassment I made one up. It went a bit like this.
"Hello, how can I help?"
"Hi, I'm looking for erm, some skin care stuff." (Pauses uncomfortably) "I have dry skin."
"What do you currently use?"
"Excuse me?"
"What is your skin care routine at the moment?"
"Ah well it's quite limited". (Quick think of something)
"What do you clean your face with?" (CLearly she thought she should be making the questions simpler)
"Erm. Oh soap. "(Bugger, that doesn't sound right. Who washes with a bar of soap? Quick fix it) "Hypoallergenic of course."
She looked shocked. As did I because I don't know where that came from. Actually I wash my face with whatever shampoo washed off my hair in the shower...
"And do you moisturise?"
"Yes." (At least something I could say with confidence. Well she didn't ask me if it was every day...)
"And what do you use?"
"Oil of Olay" (This is sort of true as I do own some. I just didn't like to say 'whatever is on offer usually'... I do have some standards because the one from Aldi was terrible.)
She looked worried for me and quickly encouraged me to sit on a white leather chair. I resisted the temptation to spin round on it. She already thought I was odd.
The following fifteen minutes consisted of being cleaned, spritzed and moisturised. And me making stuff up about how much make up I ever wear and how I remove it.
I learnt the following:
1. Once I use this product I will never look back
2. I should eat avocados.
3. My skin is amazing considering I wash with soap. (Or frankly considering that I don't wash it very much at all...)
4. I have time in my life for skin care.
5. I need to decant some toner into a small bottle so I can spritz myself regularly throughout the day. Really?
6. I should stop drinking alcohol. I stopped listening at that point.
Then I spent money I didn't need to and booked myself in for a free hand and arm massage. Which incidentally I have never had either. It sounds weird. What is the use of relaxed arms? Ah well yet another small adventure to be had this time with floaty hands.
So there you go. Small again. Still building myself up to the pole dancing.
Monday 30 June 2014
Tuesday 17 June 2014
I have never... been to bootcamp
Ok so Groupon is shaping up to be a bit of a nightmare. I keep looking at offers and thinking, "well I've never done that before". There is so much stuff on there. Today I considered a makeover and photoshoot for £15 (seriously outside my comfort zone) and a hot stone massage (much more up my street).Usually I look at the price and leave it for another day, but I didn't think I could refuse an offer that was £8 and worked out at £1 a session. That's way cheaper than joining yet another gym.
I have never had any desire whatsoever to go to bootcamp. It sounded hideous. And Shouty. But hey ho, in for a penny. Well in for a pound as it goes.
In case you don't know me well I'm not what you'd call fit. I cycle to work occasionally when the weather is agreeable and I don't have to pick shopping up on the way home. Other than that I do a good line is exercise avoidance. I just don't have the time you know. So if this challenge has done nothing lse it's made me get off my backside at least once.
I went to the park at 6.15. Luckily some other people had bought groupon vouchers too so I wasn't alone in my decision, but my anxiety levels were pretty high. I reckon I burnt calories just panicking about starting the exercise.
It began. There was running in a circle in a variety of formats. I was out of breath. After ten minutes of what by my standards was extreme exertion the instructor said "we'll be starting in just a few minutes and it will probably be a challenge". Starting in a few minutes? I thought we must have at least been half way through and due a nice sit down.
At the brief opportunity given to drink water I looked at the group of mostly women around me. I was learning you could tell a lot by what they were wearing. Anyone wearing a top with their nickname on the back was way out of my league. Along with the girl who had played beach rugby in 2012 sponsored by Spar. The next level down were the women who were either significantly fitter than me, or had previously been, as they were sporting 10k T-shirts. The rest of us had recently been shopping at Sainsburys for fitness gear. One in a very ridiculously well suited headband ran the full length of the course constantly during the most difficult bit even though it wasn't required of her. I tried not to look.
Reassuringly everyone else was pretty much similar to me. Knackered, hot, sweaty and with a worrying hot pain in both thighs at about 15 minutes in. But I did it. In not avery graceful way but I did it nevertheless.
In the car park I chatted to two members of staff from Phoebe's school and was partially convinced to do an 8km race in mud in October. One bootcamp and I've gone mad. I think maybe I'll get through another session before deciding whether to commit to that or not.
Now I am home. I can no longer ascend or descend stairs. I have asked Paul to bring a duvet down for me as I'm not getting off this sofa any time soon. I've done a bootcamp. Just another seven to go this month then...
I have never had any desire whatsoever to go to bootcamp. It sounded hideous. And Shouty. But hey ho, in for a penny. Well in for a pound as it goes.
In case you don't know me well I'm not what you'd call fit. I cycle to work occasionally when the weather is agreeable and I don't have to pick shopping up on the way home. Other than that I do a good line is exercise avoidance. I just don't have the time you know. So if this challenge has done nothing lse it's made me get off my backside at least once.
I went to the park at 6.15. Luckily some other people had bought groupon vouchers too so I wasn't alone in my decision, but my anxiety levels were pretty high. I reckon I burnt calories just panicking about starting the exercise.
It began. There was running in a circle in a variety of formats. I was out of breath. After ten minutes of what by my standards was extreme exertion the instructor said "we'll be starting in just a few minutes and it will probably be a challenge". Starting in a few minutes? I thought we must have at least been half way through and due a nice sit down.
At the brief opportunity given to drink water I looked at the group of mostly women around me. I was learning you could tell a lot by what they were wearing. Anyone wearing a top with their nickname on the back was way out of my league. Along with the girl who had played beach rugby in 2012 sponsored by Spar. The next level down were the women who were either significantly fitter than me, or had previously been, as they were sporting 10k T-shirts. The rest of us had recently been shopping at Sainsburys for fitness gear. One in a very ridiculously well suited headband ran the full length of the course constantly during the most difficult bit even though it wasn't required of her. I tried not to look.
Reassuringly everyone else was pretty much similar to me. Knackered, hot, sweaty and with a worrying hot pain in both thighs at about 15 minutes in. But I did it. In not avery graceful way but I did it nevertheless.
In the car park I chatted to two members of staff from Phoebe's school and was partially convinced to do an 8km race in mud in October. One bootcamp and I've gone mad. I think maybe I'll get through another session before deciding whether to commit to that or not.
Now I am home. I can no longer ascend or descend stairs. I have asked Paul to bring a duvet down for me as I'm not getting off this sofa any time soon. I've done a bootcamp. Just another seven to go this month then...
Tuesday 10 June 2014
I have never... been geocaching
Geocaching is yet another thing that I've never done. And yet again it's one that doesn't take me miles out of my comfort zone. I quite like walking. We used to do quite a lot of walking before we got married. Although to be fair we were usually looking for a pub, or at the very least where we parked the car, rather than a small plastic tub.
I didn't set out to try geocaching this weekend. I was on a 40th birthday weekend away in the peaks and was settled on painting my toenails different colours on each foot, walking the length of the room with a penny between my knees and wearing a blue wig. But the opportunity presented itself and it seemed rude to ignore it.
As such it was a really badly thought out bit of geocaching. Between us we had a map with some caches marked on it by a thoughtful holiday home owner, an IPhone app with very little signal, a terrible weather forecast and only fairly suitable outdoor clothing.
Before I go any further I would like to point out that we always knew where we were. Frankly I impressed myself with my map reading skills. It was just a shame that farmers don't believe public footpaths should be all that public. And that we chose to go out in torrential rain. I haven't been that wet in quite some time. We did a bit of stone wall vaulting (well slow climbing), some bog squelching, some farm dog avoiding. And very little of anything to do with coordinates.
The caches were marked on the map we had which made life a bit easier and Jodie actually knew what a Rowan tree looks like which was a bonus and meant the clue left us by the cache setters had some worth. Imagine our sodden glee when we found the exact tree we were looking for. We sent Valda round the back of the tree to find the cache. Well it was her birthday. It wasn't there. We wrestled with bits of the undergrowth. We gave up and looked at the clues on the app. Finally we admitted defeat. It wasn't the best geocaching start.
The route we took should have included four caches but after all the retracing our steps and bog hopping it took us quite a bit longer than expected. After the first failure we ignored two others and headed for the last one which we knew was in a pub car park. It didn't have quite the same feeling of magic and adventure. It did however contain a pot full of small toys and was within spitting distance of a pint of Peroni.
All in all the experience was great fun but most of that was down to the wonderful girls I was away with rather larking about in the rain than any kind of geocache success. But it has got me planning on trying again. If we are going to take the kids though we need a route that definitely does not involve negotiations with farmers and one where the caches are, well, at the very least actually there. It's one thing disappointing a bunch of ladies on the long way round to the pub and quite another disappointing smallish children.
I'm off to do a bit more research. But this new thing has legs. Hopefully they won't be so soggy next time...
I didn't set out to try geocaching this weekend. I was on a 40th birthday weekend away in the peaks and was settled on painting my toenails different colours on each foot, walking the length of the room with a penny between my knees and wearing a blue wig. But the opportunity presented itself and it seemed rude to ignore it.
As such it was a really badly thought out bit of geocaching. Between us we had a map with some caches marked on it by a thoughtful holiday home owner, an IPhone app with very little signal, a terrible weather forecast and only fairly suitable outdoor clothing.
Before I go any further I would like to point out that we always knew where we were. Frankly I impressed myself with my map reading skills. It was just a shame that farmers don't believe public footpaths should be all that public. And that we chose to go out in torrential rain. I haven't been that wet in quite some time. We did a bit of stone wall vaulting (well slow climbing), some bog squelching, some farm dog avoiding. And very little of anything to do with coordinates.
The caches were marked on the map we had which made life a bit easier and Jodie actually knew what a Rowan tree looks like which was a bonus and meant the clue left us by the cache setters had some worth. Imagine our sodden glee when we found the exact tree we were looking for. We sent Valda round the back of the tree to find the cache. Well it was her birthday. It wasn't there. We wrestled with bits of the undergrowth. We gave up and looked at the clues on the app. Finally we admitted defeat. It wasn't the best geocaching start.
The route we took should have included four caches but after all the retracing our steps and bog hopping it took us quite a bit longer than expected. After the first failure we ignored two others and headed for the last one which we knew was in a pub car park. It didn't have quite the same feeling of magic and adventure. It did however contain a pot full of small toys and was within spitting distance of a pint of Peroni.
All in all the experience was great fun but most of that was down to the wonderful girls I was away with rather larking about in the rain than any kind of geocache success. But it has got me planning on trying again. If we are going to take the kids though we need a route that definitely does not involve negotiations with farmers and one where the caches are, well, at the very least actually there. It's one thing disappointing a bunch of ladies on the long way round to the pub and quite another disappointing smallish children.
I'm off to do a bit more research. But this new thing has legs. Hopefully they won't be so soggy next time...
Monday 2 June 2014
More suggestions
I am enjoying polling my friends about what I should do next. It's fascinating how different the suggestions are.
New possibilities this week include riding on the back of a TT motorbike. I am ridiculously excited about this so hope it comes off (and I don't).
The option of driving my friend's porsche. He clearly hasn't seen the state of my S-Max.
A tattoo. This is under discussion. I truly am having mid life crisis.
Writing a song with my husband. That will be a classic I can tell you.
Making baked alaska.
Be an extra. I would flipping love to do this. If anyone has any ideas about how I would be forever in your debt.
Zorbing. Well why the hell not.
Keep them coming. I've got 52 weeks to fill...
New possibilities this week include riding on the back of a TT motorbike. I am ridiculously excited about this so hope it comes off (and I don't).
The option of driving my friend's porsche. He clearly hasn't seen the state of my S-Max.
A tattoo. This is under discussion. I truly am having mid life crisis.
Writing a song with my husband. That will be a classic I can tell you.
Making baked alaska.
Be an extra. I would flipping love to do this. If anyone has any ideas about how I would be forever in your debt.
Zorbing. Well why the hell not.
Keep them coming. I've got 52 weeks to fill...
Sunday 1 June 2014
I have never... done watersports with my daughter
It's a bit of a stretch because I have canoed before, even if the the last time was 20 years ago. Last time I fell in.
This time I did it with my daughter and we both stayed in the boat. Which was a benefit since I wasn't wearing a wetsuit.
It was a short 30 minute trip where I did most of the work and we had very few obstacles to contend with. Just a few waves made by the speedboat. We went in one of those too as a family and squealed our way around the lake.
It struck me when thinking about things I could do for this challenge that there are lots of things I have done already. But not since I was a child. Being an adult has knocked some of the play and adventure out of me.
But a whole new world of possibility is opening up to us as a family now the girls are getting older. I can canoe again. With my family this time.
Give us a couple of years and we will be canoeing to Wildcat Island.
This time I did it with my daughter and we both stayed in the boat. Which was a benefit since I wasn't wearing a wetsuit.
It was a short 30 minute trip where I did most of the work and we had very few obstacles to contend with. Just a few waves made by the speedboat. We went in one of those too as a family and squealed our way around the lake.
It struck me when thinking about things I could do for this challenge that there are lots of things I have done already. But not since I was a child. Being an adult has knocked some of the play and adventure out of me.
But a whole new world of possibility is opening up to us as a family now the girls are getting older. I can canoe again. With my family this time.
Give us a couple of years and we will be canoeing to Wildcat Island.
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